Sunrises, life lessons, and dreams of the future

I just saw the most beautiful sunrise. Bands of pink and blue across a pale sky. I saw it just before the blues faded to gray. there's still a hint of pink, but it is fading fast. I saw the sunrise because of a moth. I was sitting, working (or playing) on my computer when a huge moth started thumping into the light overhead. I mean a HUGE moth. So I turned off the light in hopes the moth would chase the outside light instead. And coming back to my seat, I saw it. Amazing how "distractions" can lead us out of ourselves. I suppose there's a lesson in that. Don't let myself get focused on the little stuff so that I miss the big stuff. Today is a big day for me. In just over an hour I leave to attend a seminar on e-marketing. I had planned to take some time off to attend it, but my employer would not approve the time off. He told me to attend on company time. :) After the seminar (it's a short seminar, only a few hours), then I work, then my TOPS group, then my writer's group. I have been very focused on editing my mother's books, so I have not spent a lot of time on my writing. Mostly I critique other people's writing at the group. But today, I am bringing my own stuff. I wrote a short romance. And I am bringing an envelope and if they approve the story without changes - I'm submitting it today. If they have something I can improve, then I'm going to edit the story and send it tomorrow. Either way, I'm submitting! For me, this is the first step toward my personal publishing goals. If this story is accepted, I'm going to use the money from that to hire an illustrator. Wish me luck!! by teh way, as I look outside the window the sunrise that I had thought was fading took on new life. The sun is rising over the horizon, somewhere past the trees, and the light has turned all the clouds into a rosy orange. Like the sky catching fire. I suppose there's some lesson in that too, about not accepting soemthing is over or something like that. I'll have to look for that lesson another day.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH What have I done!

It’s amazing how quickly a person can overwhelm themselves. My problem is getting bogged down in the details. My challenges sound good. They are important. But they are also a lot to ask. So where do I change? Thank heaven for counseling. Really. My husband and I have a standing appointment with a therapist every third Monday. It has been a godsend. For both of us. So we talked about Eric and how he’s coping. Then we talked about me and how I’m coping. I explained my goals and how I’m trying to achieve them. And how when I started getting past the lofty ideals and into the nitty gritty details, I started getting worn out. Just looking at my to do list made me tired. So he suggested I modify them a little. And prioritize. So – now that I know what to do so I don’t feel overwhelmed, I am prioritizing my goals. Foremost – walk with God. When I take time to pray, read the scriptures, and truly invite God into my life, it makes my day better and helps me cope. Second – fitness. As Rob (my therapist) pointed out, Taking care of my physical needs and my spiritual needs will ‘sharpen the saw’ and make everything else easier. So eating right, getting enough sleep, and exercising are high on the priority list. The half-marathon itself is not high priority. Getting myself in shape to walk a half-marathon is. And losing the weight. I am carrying around way too much extra baggage physically and that in itself is exhausting. Third priority – getting my mother’s books published. One book is already out there. Dearly Beloved by Carolyn Wright – available on Amazon. If you like historical romances, read it! And although the goal is to have three books on the market by Christmas, the third book itself is a lower priority. The second book, however, is high priority. I’m working on it right now. Well, not right this minute, since right this minute I’m posting on my blog, but during this time frame. It has a high priority. Fourth priority – the clean house thing. I’m modifying it a little, though. I’m allowed to have a cluttered craft room. And my office doesn’t have to be pristine, although if I have a stack of paper that needs organizing I will not consider my house clean. What is important is that I have my table clear at least once per week. And the front room has to have enough clear floor space to allow me to use my exercise dvds and the wii and xbox. If the floor didn’t get swept on Monday, I won’t freak out. Is it sad that my last priority is my own writing? It’s not my lowest priority item. I am working on my writing. But the other items will have a higher impact on my life right now. A much higher impact. So we’ll see how it goes. And if I can be not so overwhelmed that I do not function.